My dad died twelve years ago today. On one hand, it seems like yesterday, and on the other, it seems like an eternity. Though it’s hard to admit, I’ve become so accustomed to life without him that it’s a little hard to remember what it was like with him. That breaks my heart and reminds me of the part in Sleepless in Seattle when Tom Hanks’ little boy says, “Dad, I’m starting to forget her,” in reference to his dead mom. Oh how that scene makes me cry.

Of course we never completely forget our loved ones, but I am living proof that the grief gets better and that time heals.  Though I still think about him every day, and I still tear up nearly every time I talk about him, I no longer feel a debilitating sense of loss and grief every waking minute like I did back then. My thoughts of him are no longer gut-wrenching, but rather uplifting and inspiring. I never could have predicted that in a million years from where I stood twelve years ago.

Regardless of how well adjusted I’ve become, there are times that are particularly rough, like now, the first week of June. This time of year is filled with so much joy, as kids everywhere are wrapping up a school year and looking forward to three months of fun in the sun. But for me, it is filled with memories of my dad’s wicked hacking, saline drips, and pain medications; of sleepless nights, wondering if my dad would be awake in the morning; and an ache so deep in my gut that I could barely get out of bed in the morning. It is filled with regret that my dad never got to meet my kids or to hear them laugh, and a certain longing that only women in the club can understand.

It’s hard for me to separate June from my dad’s death.

So it’s not a surprise that a very kind, but unrelated text message from an acquaintance/business friend, struck a deep and emotional chord with me this week.  Here is a short video describing what happened when Little Tommy, producer of the Jeff & Jer Showgram, sent me a text two days ago. I’m sure he meant to be kind, but I’m also sure he had no idea the impact it had on me.

Thank you, Tommy, for your kindness.

And thank you, Dad, for all you gave me in our 29 years together on this earth. I miss and love you more than I can say.

xoxoxo

LEGO® Friends are the best things that have happened to the LEGO toyline, as far as girls (at least girlie girls) are concerned, since, well, forever, and they made for a PERFECT girl’s birthday party theme.

Side note: I’m not trying to pigeon-hole girls into liking only pink & purple things, because that is not the truth, but the fact of the matter is that many girls, including mine, were not too keen on the LEGO product lines like STAR WARS, Harry Potter, Ninjago, and Bionicle but they go bat-brick-crazy over these LEGO Friends.

There are not a lot of LEGO Friends party items available online or in stores yet, so I had to be creative and resourceful as far as the decor. I picked the blue, purple, and pink color scheme, which just so happen to be popular right now, and used that for the plates, cutlery, and table decor. I themed the games to the various LEGO Friends toy sets (you can see them in the video). Then I printed some of the LEGO Friends images that I found online and put them in frames.

Here is a video tutorial on how I decorated the party as well as some photos below.

LEGO Friends Party Bags. Check back for my video tutorial.

Sandwiches cut in LEGO Friends shapes - hearts, stars, & butterflies

With summer fast approaching, things like the beach days and travel plans are on all of our mind, and as parents, we are also trying to figure what the heck are we going to do with our kiddos for 2-3 months! On today’s Ask the Moms Fox 5 News Segment, we discussed the following summer-centric questions:

1) What kind of sunscreen is the best to buy? According to my pediatrician, you need to look for sunscreens that are also sunblocks and that contain two important ingredients: titanium dioxide and zinc oxide. Those are the kind that really white and take an eternity to rub in, but they really provide the best protection (my favorites are the the kids versions of Neutrogena and Kiss my Face). Another panelist says that any sunscreen is better than no sunscreen so you can also go for the best smelling like I also do sometimes (I love the smell of Fresh Cooling spray by Neutrogena!).

2) Should kids study during the summer? Our panelists all agree that yes, there should be some sort of learning going on during the summer. According to various studies, a majority of kids loose 2.5 months of schooling during the summer months, so continuing to read to and/or with your kids is key. Depending on their age, and their interests, you can utilize various local resources to keep the brain’s juices flowing. Our local Carlsbad Dove Library has an incredible Summer Reading program that is free and really encourages kids to read and practice their book report skills with fun incentives and prizes.

3) Should parents try to stick to a schedule during the summer? Oye! This question is a toughy. Part of me says

I can still count her age on one hand.

I can still carry her like a baby (barely).

I can still make her boo boos go away by kissing them.

She still wants to cuddle wiff me in the middle of the night.

I still ogle her from afar, with awe and admiration, just as I did 5 years ago today.

Happy 5^th birthday to my spunky, smart, loving, precocious Lexi the Loo.

I love you!

Coming up with unique Father’s Day gift items for my dad was always a challenge for me when my dad was alive, so typically I would buy him a book or a tie, or something boring like that. However mundane the gift, I always put a lot of effort into his Father’s Day cards. You see, my dad loved sending greeting cards to all of his loved ones on special holidays, birthdays, or really, any old days, just to let people know he was thinking about them, which is a trait I tried to emulate, so I always put a lot of thought into picking just the right card and then adding a personalized message (I have a special “Dad” scrapbook, filled with all the old cards that we used to send to each other, and look to them often to feel him with me).

So, needless to say, walking past the greeting card aisle in May and June is difficult for me. Even all of these years later, I miss picking out cards for my dad.

If I could send him one to wherever he is now, it would still say a lot of the same things that I used say, like,

Thank you for all of your encouragement and support. Thank you for teaching me the values of respect, self-esteem and determination. And Thank you for your unconditional love.

And now I would also add . . .

I wish you could see your grand daughters–they are smart, funny and feisty, just like you. I think you’d be proud of my accomplishments though I wouldn’t dare rest of my laurels, just like you taught me.  I am incredibly grateful for the time I had with you, even though it was cut short, and I feel your spirit with me often. I miss you like crazy.

Since I can’t send the card I want to send, I’m going to