how wayne brady and “the secret” conspired to make me a stay at home mom – part 4 – FINALE

Welcome to the fourth and final installment of How Wayne Brady and The Secret Conspired to Make Me a Stay at Home Mom. If you have not yet read Part 1, Part 2 and/or Part 3, you may want to start there.

When I last left off, I was quaking in my new Nordstom black heels, just about to be called on stage to sing in front of a lot of freaking people and for a lot of freaking money. But before I go any further with the main story at hand, I need to digress a little and talk about how the book The Secret plays into it all. First, I must make a confession. I love me some good self-help. From the Artist’s Way to Write it Down, Make it Happen, if it tells me how to live my best self and reach my goals, I am all over it.

And in the early part of 2007, when my little Lily was 5 months old and my precious maternity leave ended, I decided to pick up The Secret after hearing Oprah and others RAVE about it. I listened to it in the car on my commute to work and LOVED it.

The Secret, if you have not read, seen or heard it, is essentially all about the power of positive thinking and putting your goals/dreams/desires out to the universe. Though the secret is not just putting things out to the universe, the secret is then TRUSTING that it will happen and releasing control over when, where, why and how it will happen.

I need to write an entirely separate post on how awesome I think it is, but for now, let’s just say, I embraced The Secret; whole heartedly and with jazz hands. And one evening while chatting with my hubby about our goals for the year, I talked about wanting to stay home with Lily and with The Secret in mind, I said, “Okay, I am somehow going to make X amount of dollars for our family this year.” The amount was not an exorbitant amount of money, but it was considerably more than what I was making at my day job. And so there it was…out into the universe. And then, I completely forgot about that conversation.

Until 7 months later…when I was standing next to the hotness know as Wayne Brady (WB from here on out), with a mic in one hand, a pool of sweat in the other and a couple of song lyrics standing between me and a lot of freaking money.

After fumbling over my words with Wayne, wondering if that was an indication of how articulate I was going to be on stage I began to panic again, but there was no time for that because the voice of god announced, “And welcome our next contestant, Mary Burt-Goodwin.”

Even though they mispronounced my last name, I ran onto the stage with more spunk than a 15 yo Texas Cheerleader on Red Bull, doing some weird cross between the Hustle and a mobile Charlie’s Angels pose.

The adrenaline was INSANE! The lights, the live audience, and the full camera crew was almost more than I could handle. But once I saw the jumbotron sized karaoke screen with the dollar sign$ all over it, I strangely found myself in the zone. I was no longer star struck by WB, nor intimidated by the crowd or the cameras; it was just me and my lyrics. It was GAME ON.

Now this is where I need to digress again…

As fate would have it (I swear to those same gods of cheesy boy bands that this is true), just last night, in the middle of typing this post, I did a little lurking around Facebook and saw the name of the show’s producer via my segment producer’s page, the same guy that yodeled and cried with me in my audition. I thought, oh what a coincidence, I will just sent him a message to say I am blogging about my experience on the show since it was cancelled and the confidentiality contract is null & void (which was my dumb arse conclusion).

This morning, he replied. Nice to hear from you, blah, blah, blah, oh and by the way, the confidentiality contract is still in effect an because all-new episodes will be airing in syndication on FOX stations across America as well as VH1 and MyNetworkTV in primetime. So dear readers, I’m afraid there is going to be a massive revolt, but I cannot tell you anything that happened on that stage for fear the suits of Hollywood will come after me with their dizzying legal mumbo jumbo and sue me right out of my $15.99 Target shoes.

I am taking this seriously because dear readers, my episode NEVER AIRED! After the taping of my episode, I waited anxiously every Wednesday night, week after week, hoping to see my mug on the previews for the following week, and though I was featured in the show’s promo package every week, jumping up and down like I was about to spike a volleyball, they never showed my segment. So, I am still bound by that damned contract to not tell you what happened.

BUT… What I will tell you is this:

1)     It was one of the BEST experiences of my life.

2)     I did break ALL of the cardinal rules

3)     The Secret is REAL!

The good news is, there is still a chance my epsisode might still air. I will not hold my breath, but now I will have to fill up my dvr with DFTL again in hopes of catching my segment.

Thanks for taking this ride with me in these ridiculously LONG blog posts that really led nowhere, except hope.

 

[pinit]

20 Comments

  1. 1

    April Fools!! Right?

    You are going to have to tell me (sorry the rest of you are on your own). We can make it all very hypothetical. You can call yourself Daisy and WB can become CW. The show can be So You Think You Can Sing. I don’t care but—I MUST KNOW! You have until next week to come up with a hypothetical version of this story…

  2. 2
    Crystal says:

    WHAT…THE…you know what word comes next! hehe. I’ve been religiously reading every part to this saga, and now you can’t tell us!!! That blows…hard. But hopefully I can read between the lines, and see how you made it to be a SAHM.

    I also was a big fan of the Secret, until I realized that it was pretty much a new-agey rendition of the teachings of Jesus from 2000 years ago. So now I just stick with my homeboy JC. (Mark 11:24) BUT…that’s just my point of view.

    I am really glad you got to stay home with your girls…and I STILL want to know what the heck happened on that stage! :)

  3. 3

    You know, that’s just mean.

  4. 4
    Robyn Dinnhaupt says:

    OMG. I was so excited to get to the final blog to read all about it. I’m sending it out into the universe that your show will air SOON so we can all know what happens!!!!

  5. 5
    Tina Platt says:

    What?! Mur, you are the biggest tease EVER, and I’ve fallen for this particular tease twice now! I’ve officially given up after this second time, and I’m convinced I will never know what really happened that day on DFTL. SIGH…

  6. 6
  7. 7
    stefanie says:

    You are mother effing kidding me right? You believe in the Secret? *wink*

  8. 8
    hip_m0m says:

    You are such a tease! So, not like a virgin of you.

    You know I’m kidding, right?

  9. 9
    Emily says:

    Oh No! We recorded all the episodes for over a year looking for you. I guess we’ll be filling up our DVR too. Let us know when they are putting it back on. I’m so glad you sent that producer a note! I too live by "The Secret" I like to whisper it, like they say it on the video. (which I only watched enough to get the gist) But I lived by it before I knew it was a "secret." How do you think I met you?! Love ya, and hopefully someday you’ll be able to tell rest of your story.

  10. 10

    Bummer! So skip the rest of the TV show & tell us the rest of the story – like how you decided it was feasible to stay home. If your episode didn’t air & you don’t get any money until it does (if you get any, that is), what fell into place to allow you to come home? THAT is the part I’m really wanting to hear.

  11. 11
    Sugar Jones says:

    I kinda wanna hit you right now… but you’re too cute.

    ;)

  12. 12
    Elizabeth says:

    Wow, Mary, who do we write to to request your episode be aired? I will get all my peeps to watch and they will earn so many commercial dollars that they will give you money whether you won or not in real life.!

  13. 13
    LGdubs says:

    Well Crap! I thought I was FINALLY going to get to know WTF happened. You had me hook line and sinker coming back every day for more. Don’t worry, I’ll keep reading – maybe someday you will spill the ‘secret’.

  14. 14
    April says:

    you are so fired! I can’t believe it!
    You’re killing me!
    But you are such an amazing writer and gifted story teller that I will let it slide.
    but just this once! and you had better tell us when that show airs!

  15. 15
    Lisa Voss says:

    Ok….WHAT?1?? So when are these new episodes supposed to air? I can’t believe we have to DVR them all over again. And, where and how did you get that picture?

  16. 16
    TeriAlvarez says:

    I took 1 st personal loans when I was 25 and this supported me very much. However, I need the car loan also.

  17. 17

    Heeee heeeee heeeee heeeee.

  18. 18
    Suzette says:

    Damn, girl! My stomach was in knot’s the whole time I read these posts. I read them all in one loooooooooooong sequence, but it was better this way – the suspence would have killed me!
    I can’t sing worth s@#+ (judging by my ICBINotButter video), but have witnessed your God-given talent, and I sure hope you get your 15 minutes (if you havent’ had them already!).
    Love ya!

  19. 19

    Oh my gosh I love the long 4 part series to find out we don’t really find out haha! Surrendering to the Secret worked then. That’s what matters most.

  20. 20
    Jean says:

    What a cliffhanger!! So glad I read this. Did your episode ever air? You know, it doesn’t really matter if you got the money or not. You achieved your goal!

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