calling for a nationwide ban on the over-usage of LOL

I have a love/hate relationship with LOL.

There are times when LOL makes me feel whole. Like I simply can’t go on without her. But those times are few and far between. Typically, LOL drives me nuts! She bugs me to no end because she appears in places and in situations where she does not belong.

Like in a Facebook status in which someone rants about going to the fridge and seeing that the mayo is all gone.

Just went to make a sandwich. How come there’s no mayo in the fridge? LOL.

There is nothing funny about that. Nothin’ funny about running out of mayo, nothin’ funny about posting something so stupid on Facebook. In all likelihood, that person didn’t laugh at all when they found the empty mayo jar. She probably cried or cursed the name of her spouse for using the last bit of artery-clogging-goodness without announcing it. But I will bet ONE MILLION DOLLARS that she did not, in fact, LAUGH OUT LOUD.

I am beginning to understand that people use LOL in place of a smiley face, and, being an over-user of the smiley face, I can understand the need for other acronyms and/or symbols to utilize when wanting a little emphasis added to the written word. Personally, I abhor emoticons, so even though I will use a colon and a parenthesis over fifty times in one email, I will go so far as to put a space between my colon and the parenthesis so as to ensure that an auto-emoticon doesn’t accidentally turn my symbol into a smiley face.

Also, I also don’t understand the J thing. What is that? It doesn’t look like a real J to me. Can someone please tell me where on my key board I can find that sucker? I would be open to using him.

Anyway, I digress. The sole purpose of this post is to create a nationwide ban against the unnecessary LOL usage.

If you are honest-to-God, laughing out loud, then go ahead and use LOL, or even better, please use LLOL so I know that you are LITERALLY laughing out loud. (Side Bar: I thought I had made LLOL up, but just discovered that someone added it to like 9 years ago. Whatever. Use it, damnit!)

If you are just really happy about something and you have a full-face grin then just use SFETE (Smiling From Ear to Ear).

But for the love of god and all that is holy, please do not use LOL when you are talking about something mundane, unfunny, or any combo thereof. Please.


P.S. Don’t even get me started on ROTFLMAO. I’ve only rolled on the floor with laughter two times in my life: the time I farted while leaving a message for guy I had a crush on (click here to read the full, humiliating story) and the time  when my friend Katey and I got caught using dirty words in Madlibs when we were ten. We didn’t ROTFLOAO until after her mom left the room. But man, it was funny!



  1. 1
    Charlie says:

    LOL has become the ubiquitous symbol for a small smile on my part. It has become bastardized. No doubt about it. It has a sort of :) utility to it, a casual acknowledgement of a positive. I find it to be the “like” vernacular of a Valley Girl.

    This is all bullshit, if you ask me.

    To top it all off, if you asked a Middle Schooler to spell “Laugh Out Loud”, I guarantee you would see a “LOL” instead.

  2. 2
    Laura says:

    Wait, what is the J thing? I notice that sometimes. I thought it was a weird computer glitch. Seriously? It’s on purpose? What does it mean? I’m too hung up on this to move on…

    LOL makes me twitchy. I’ve used it no more than 20 times in my life, and only when someone else I’m chatting with overuses it b/c then I get uncomfortable and think, “I’d better throw out an LOL.”

    I’m so guilty of the color parenz things. :) See? All the time. But I also hate emoticons, so I backspace and re-type to avoid them if they auto-appear.

    Please tell me what this J thing is!

  3. 3
    Stacy Q says:

    Oh I am so with you on that one. I also overuse the smiley face or winky face, but I hardly every laugh out loud. Sometimes I snort, though. I don’t know how to accurately express that one using the keyboard.
    My daughter calls lol “Lawling” and so that’s how I think of it. “Oh that was so funny, lawl lawl lawl.”
    If it was really truly funny you’d type “ha ha ha!” and so I do, or not quite so funny I say “hee hee hee.” I’m beginning to sound like that laughing song from Mary Poppins. ;-)

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