I began working on my book project three years ago today.
Now, I am so close to being finished with it that I can taste it. Well, I can taste the champagne that has been sitting on my counter for three years just waiting for the book to be published. It’s taunting me from my counter top (does champagne stay good for that many years?).
The self-publishing process has been painstaking and quite frustrating at times. I have not been satisfied with the company I am working with, which will be another post for another day. Nevertheless, I am very happy with the direction the book is going and I am beyond excited for its impending release.
But? I also want to puke. Yep, I want to hurl all over myself because I am terrified.
Feeling this way reminds me of the way I use to feel right before one of my plays was about to open. I used to always be so excited during the rehearsal process and then, the week before opening night, I would lose my shit. I would cry and wonder how I could get out of the role. Just ask Steve, who had to put up with all my craziness. I would question everything about the show and my performance. Insecurities ruled my every waking moment in the days leading up to opening night. I was a nightmare. Every. Time.
This time is no different. Now, instead of a role on a stage, it’s a book in someone’s hand.
Working on something creative that comes from your blood, sweat and tears, and to then birth it for the world to share, ogle, and critique, is always challenging. Right now, the book is in the warm cocoon of my laptop. I have read and reread it at least a hundred times and every time I do I see something I want to change. And I still can. I can nurture it, and love on it. But the time is coming when I will have to release the book out into the wild, wild world.
The website deaddadsclub.com is also in the works. I am currently collecting submissions for the website so if you know someone in this crummy club who may want to share a story about her dad and/or her grief process, please send her my way.
My next post about the book will have a picture of the bubbly in an actual glass as it’s touching my lips in celebration. Might not be for another month, but, until then, send good vibes.