I wouldn’t say I am a fearful person, though I am afraid of many things.
I have a fear of falling, which is why you’ll never catch me skydiving or bungee jumping. It’s also why I lived four years in a bike riding college town without ever getting on a bike.
I fear unicorns.
I fear getting in trouble, or getting caught in the act of breaking the rules. Which is why, on the rare occasion that I pay for one movie but sneak into a second, I bring a hat and a change of clothes and change in between films so that the movie ushers don’t recognize me. True story.
I fear creepy crawly critters. One time I camped outside, without a tent, and it was one of the scariest nights of my life. Will not be repeating that adventure.
I fear death. My own and of the people I care about. I love life too much and also fear the unknown of the afterworld. I really hope there are no unicorns there.
More than anything else, I fear mediocrity.
Many, many years ago, when one of my friends, Lori and I had just been dumped by our post-college “loves,” I remember her saying, in one of our bitch sessions with Alannis Morrissette playing in the background, “We’re way better off without them anyway. We are going to do something with our lives and they are just going to sink into the abyss of mediocrity.” That phrase, “abyss of mediocrity” has stuck with me all of these sixteen years.
I fear that abyss. That place where nothing is incredible and nothing sucks. It’s like a lukewarm bath or a movie that doesn’t make me cry or laugh. I loathe adjectives like “good” and “okay.” I want something to be incredible or the worst thing ever.
Personally, I want to fly high above that abyss, that place that I fear, or at least go down trying.
This post was inspired by my good bloggy friend, Not Just Another Jen, who started a “Word of the Month Club.” This month, to tie into Halloween I presume, is “fear.” Thanks Jen, for getting me to think about this and reminding me to strive for greatness rather than sink into that abyss.
Happy Halloween, dear readers.