Friends, it’s time for some serious Girl Talk. Yes, with a capital G and a capital T. As in, this post is part of a campaign for Poise Microliners, sponsored by Socialstars, and the words bladder and leakage will be used a lot. All opinions are my own. #PoisewithSAM
So, if you’re:
- a guy
- under 33
- nauseated by the word “Kegel”
- or any combination of the above
you should probably bounce.
Or, better yet, click on over to my favorite post about how my neighbor used to have really loud um, fun with her boyfriend in the middle of the day. It’s an oldie but goodie.
If you’ve stayed on the page then WELCOME to:
My “Light Bladder Leakage Talk,” brought to you by the Mama Mary Show and Poise Microliners.
You still in? Okay, awesome. Let’s do this.
My favorite phrase to express how much I’ve laughed or enjoyed a particular situation has always been, “ . . . I just almost peed my pants.”
In my 20’s, I said it as a complete joke, trying to get a laugh, with the notion that everyone knew I didn’t really pee my pants and that I was just being dramatic (similar to how no one is really rolling on the floor laughing their ass off when they tweet ROLF LMAO).
Then, in my 30’s, after having two kids (after kids are the KEY words of that phrase), the phrase “I might have just peed my pants,” became just a wee bit more accurate to describe what happens when I laughed too hard.
THEN, in my early 40’s, after having two kids AND entering the age of needing readers and asking people to repeat themselves far too often, my go-to phrase morphed into something a little more descriptive and definitely accurate—“I just peed my pants, just a little.”
Now, maybe I did or maybe I didn’t actually pee my pants–that’s up to the reader to decipher, guess, or interpret. But, it’s highly possible is all I’m sayin’.
Case in point: Here I am laughing, late night, with my cousins just a few weeks ago, about something definitely not funny unless you were there, and it is unclear whether or not I left a stain on that couch.
But, friends, it’s not just when you laugh too hard. This LBL issue is not just reserved for the funny.
Here are some prime examples:
Exciting situations, like the time I met Harry Connick Jr. during Hollywood Week of American Idol:
Then there’s jumping. Oh lord–trying to not pee while jumping, after kids, is like trying to not touch the sensor on a game of Operation—slightly stressful and nearly impossible.
Here is my good friend Alisa jumping on the trampoline at her daughter’s 3rd birthday. She swears there was no LBL but if that was me jumping like that? You’re damn straight there’d be some LBL.
Finally, there’s the riding of roller coasters. Um, seriously, California Screamin’? You should be re-named California Peein’. In fact, any rollercoaster is troublesome in the LBL department. The rocky bumps and sharp turns in Matterhorn? Not a good thing.
Thank goodness the re-vamped bobsleds don’t require that people straddle each other on that ride anymore, is all I’m saying.
So, friends, here is a bit of advice:
1) Never make fun of someone with LBL, because it COULD, and very likely will, BE YOU at some point in your life.
2) Do your Kegels.
3) Don’t scoff at Poise Microliners because they may become your BFF one of these days. In fact, you might want to just have some in your cabinet, JIC!
For some FAQs on LBL check out the Poise website, and, if you want to share some LBL issues with me here, I’d love it. C’mon, don’t be shy! I won’t tell anyone, I swear.
I wrote about Poise Microliners as part of a sponsored post for Socialstars #PoisewithSAM