silver linings and wise advice from my therapist

I woke up early this morning seeing no silver lining. Then, I went in for my morning pee and was thankful for the fact I could sit down comfortably, without that split second of worrying whether or not I’d be sitting down on the thin, cold, man-pee rim.

Ding, ding—silver lining.

Last night I felt dejected listening to my daughter rehearse her weekly 2nd grade speech on the topic “what you are thankful for,” when she said she was thankful for me because I “work hard to get money for the family” and she was thankful for her dad for hanging out and spending time with her. I fought the urge to say, “but wait, don’t I hang out, and play, and cook, and take you to dance and . . . ”

Instead, I decided to soak it in. She is thankful for me.

I had a hard time sleeping with stressful thoughts of bills and work deadlines, but then I checked my Facebook account (what else do we do when we can’t sleep?) to find a message from a friend whose dad is battling cancer, thanking me for my messages of love and encouragement.

Facebook won.

Before coming downstairs this morning, I sifted through my closet with shame and sadness because I’ve gained so much weight this year from stress eating and drinking that nothing fits. Like, nothing. Then, I looked in the mirror and remembered my therapist’s advice from a few months ago,

“Instead of looking in the mirror and criticizing yourself, try looking in the mirror and saying, ‘Hey, you and me, we got another day!”

So that’s what I did.

I looked at my chunky, weathered, tired face and smiled.

“You and me, we got another day.”

wise advice from my therapist

P.S. My therapist, by the way, is Dr. Lorie Teagno of The Relationship Institute. I love this woman!



  1. 1
    Megan says:

    my positivity muscle has had a serious workout this year.
    Keep at it! It will get easier to see the bright side.

  2. 2
    Katie says:

    My kid said the same thing recently in a school essay and it felt super crummy. Hang in there!

  3. 3
    stefanie says:

    I love you my beautiful friend.

  4. 4
    BriGeeski says:

    Positivity always wins!

  5. 5
    angela says:

    Great advice. Sometimes, we are just too hard on ourselves. Thank you for sharing this.

  6. 6

    The older I get, the more days I’m thankful for, and that’s no small thing.

    You are a positive ray, and I hope you beam much of it back your way.


  7. 7
    Carolyn West says:

    Being healthy, having our children around us, living to see another day… sometimes it’s hard to think of those things as being special… but they are the MOST special things we can have, even though we need to remind ourselves over and over again how good we really have it.

  8. 8
    Paige Davis says:

    I did it. I just looked in the mirror, I mean this moment, and said those words. Thank you. I needed that too.

  9. 9
    Abby Burd says:

    Thank you, Mary, for sharing your vulnerability and darkest moments, and teaching us some of your resiliency.

    I love that you are applying what you learned in therapy. Even at dark times when it can be hard to remember the “silver linings”. Having that healthy inner dialogue in your head is a sign that your therapy was very successful!

    • Charlotte says:

      Please teach the rest of these internet hognioals how to write and research!

    • http://www./ says:

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  10. 10
    alexandra says:

    Love to you. And I quote my therapist nearly every day, she is so wise. And life saving. xoxoxo

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