After drinking for 30 years, I never thought I’d be able to quit drinking. On January 1, 2016, I made the decision to live a sober life. I haven’t been vlogging or blogging since that day, as it’s been such a personal journey but I know that there are a lot of people out there who share in the same struggles I faced and still face today so I will be sharing my journey, slowly but surely.
A few weeks ago, my 8-year-old daughter brought home a reading comprehension homework assignment about Martin Luther King Jr. As she read through the short, simplified biography of MKL Jr. and tried to answer the questions, she had a lot of questions for me like, “what is segregation?” and, “what does ‘boycott’ mean?”
I took pause, as her questions were certainly not easy to answer. I have talked about this subject with her before, on a very base level, but it seemed like it was time to dive in a little more.
“Well, remember when I told you that there was a time in this country when people with black skin didn’t have the same rights as people with white skin. They had their own bathrooms and drinking fountains, and that black people weren’t allowed to sit in certain seats on buses to enter certain places if they were for ‘white people only?’
And boycott, well, you know how we never go to Chick-fil-A. That’s because I found out a few years ago that the owners are anti-gay marriage which means they spend money towards groups that don’t want people like our friends Dawn and Diana to get married. So, I decided to never any of my money there.
I woke up early this morning seeing no silver lining. Then, I went in for my morning pee and was thankful for the fact I could sit down comfortably, without that split second of worrying whether or not I’d be sitting down on the thin, cold, man-pee rim.
Ding, ding—silver lining.
Last night I felt dejected listening to my daughter rehearse her weekly 2nd grade speech on the topic “what you are thankful for,” when she said she was thankful for me because I “work hard to get money for the family” and she was thankful for her dad for hanging out and spending time with her. I fought the urge to say, “but wait, don’t I hang out, and play, and cook, and take you to dance and . . . ”
Instead, I decided to soak it in. She is thankful for me.
I had a hard time sleeping with stressful thoughts of bills and work deadlines, but then I checked my Facebook account (what else do we do when we can’t sleep?) to find a message from a friend whose dad is battling cancer, thanking me for my messages of love and encouragement.
Before coming downstairs this morning, I sifted through my closet with shame and sadness because I’ve gained so much weight this year from stress eating and drinking that nothing fits. Like, nothing. Then, I looked in the mirror and remembered my therapist’s advice from a few months ago,
“Instead of looking in the mirror and criticizing yourself, try looking in the mirror and saying, ‘Hey, you and me, we got another day!”
So that’s what I did.
I looked at my chunky, weathered, tired face and smiled.
Disclosure: I wrote this post as part of a sponsored campaign with Poise Microliners and Socialstars. #lifeslittleleaks
Let me Poise a question to you: Do you do your Kegels every day? No? Me neither.
If I had as much fun doing Kegels as I do saying the word, I probably would be more apt to to do them and I wouldn’t be so bummed with the knowledge that women are supposed to be doing their inner-lady-part exercises on the daily.
Seriously, we’re supposed to be doing them DAILY. But who really does them daily? I’m lucky if I do them yearly.
Therein lies my problem.
I guess I wouldn’t be as concerned about those little bladder leaks that happen to women of my “advanced age,” when we jump, hear a joke, or, you know, sneeze, if I were more disciplined about doing them. I’d certainly feel much better about watching The Mindy Project, reading books like Amy Poehler’s Yes, Please,
or standing 5 feet away from Phillip Phillips.
So, I’ve been talking to some of my girlfriends who are in the medical profession and specialize in parts down under about how to incorporate Kegels into my life a little more often. Together we came up with some tips on
Today would’ve been my dad’s 83rd birthday. As I always do on this day, and this time of year in general, I have been spending time thinking of all our good memories and reflecting on all the many life lessons he taught me.
Last night I got out the scrapbook that was given to me by my brother-in-law the week after my dad died with the photos of his funeral. I have since turned it into a scrapbook of greeting cards he sent me through the years, newspaper clippings of the times he made the paper, random photos and other memorabilia (including the speech he gave to introduce Henry Kissinger at an event in San Diego in 1981—fodder for another blog post, indeed).
It’s my “Dad Book” and I go to it when I need a pick me up and/or a good cry.
I’ve written many times about the greeting cards he used to send me, as they are truly such incredible keepsakes now that he is no longer here, no longer able to give me a pep talk or provide me with advice.
Lately, I’ve been wondering what advice he’d be giving me right now during my separation. He saw a lot of life in his 69 years and he always had a wise word for his family, friends and colleagues who needed guidance.
In flipping through the scrapbook last night, I found a card with the
Top 5 Funniest Viral Videos of 2014 (That Have Nothing to Do With Parenting!):
If Google Was a Guy by College Humor
This is an entire series of videos with the premise of “What if Google Was a Guy?” It is spot on, way clever and hilarious. The series is made by College Humor and if you don’t already subscribe to then on YouTube, YouNeedTu (see what I did there?).
My Impressions of Celebrities Stuck in Traffic by Lauren O’Brien
This comedian is so dead on with her impressions of celebrities that I will forgive her for
When asked to be a part of a campaign sponsored by Blue Shield of California Foundation about domestic violence my first instinct was to turn it down. First of all, it’s a pretty heavy topic for the holidays and secondly, it’s one that I, thankfully, don’t have a lot of firsthand experience with.
But then I read this line:
And then brutal the images from “the elevator” flashed through my mind.